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How to Make Mommy Friends

Mom’s Need to Make Friends Too!

Let me tell you a  little story; once upon a time, before I became a mom, I had a lot of friends. Making friends always came naturally to me. High school was easy and college was wonderful, friends and roommates were like family, they were the ones I spent most of my time with after all. Then I fell in love and man oh man those were such fun times. We still had our group of friends, but our little world mostly consisted of just us (as it should be.) We got married and moved away from our college life and closer to our family. It was wonderful, but over time we kind of forgot how to make friends. Then, the hubby got accepted to Pharmacy school over a thousand miles away and we were set to move just three short months after our first baby would be born. I was not the happiest camper, I had no idea how to make mommy friends.

The idea of being away from my mom after just having a baby scared me. Not knowing how to make mommy friends was intimidating. The rumors of the awful Midwest winters were more than discouraging. This was an adventure I wasn’t thrilled to be taking, to say the least. But I knew it was where we needed to be and I trusted the Lord would help me through the next four plus years of our life.

We arrived with horse trailer full of all our stuff and were immediately unloaded by a whole group of young medical-student families all in the same boat as us. From what I understand, it is not like this everywhere and we are extremely lucky to have that right at our fingertips, but I will say that these families have been more than I ever could have dreamed of. These ‘Student Wives’ (as we like to call ourselves) have become more than just mommy friends and closer to me like sisters. I never could have imagined all the things we would go through together in the past few years; from babies being born, to babies being called to heaven too early; from cancer diagnosis’ to surgeries, miscarriages and husbands being gone months at a time, girls nights and playdates, these ladies were always there for one another. We became the family we all left behind. It takes a village right?

I don’t know how I would have made it through Pharmacy school without them! I’ve definitely learned the importance in making mommy friends and would love to share a few tips on how to make friends in similar situations as yourself…

How to make mommy friends

How to Make Mommy Friends:

First things first to make mommy friends- find other moms. There are several ways to do this:

  • Facebook Groups
  • Pre-School Moms
  • Church
  • Gym or YMCA
  • Parks/Play places/Libraries

I’ve met and made mommy friends in so many surprising ways, from the grocery store to the park, there are mom’s are everywhere. To find a Facebook group, simply search your city and add the word “mom’s” after it. Get involved in your child’s preschool class (if they are old enough.) Let your child take the lead and start off by mentioning that both your kids seem to play well and if they’d like to set up a playdate outside of school.
There’s plenty of activities through our church to get involved and out of the house mingling with other members of our faith.
We have a YMCA membership and have taken advantage of classes for adults, as well as classes for children.
Parks, play places and activity centers all are great places to meet other moms as well. Chick-Fil-A, the mall, trampoline and blow up bouncy house places, community centers, usually have designated ‘toddler times’ as well and we frequent them often anyway.
Libraries always have specific events geared for toddlers like story time, craft days, etc.
There’s so many options, just keep your eyes out, not only will you most likely find a fun activity to entertain your kids, but you’ll have opportunities to meet other mom’s as well.

Step two… Get out of your comfort zone and TALK to moms. This can be the hardest part, but you seriously have nothing to lose! Strike up a conversation. Could be as easy as asking how old their child is or mentioning how cute their kids outfit is. Mom’s love to hear that, right? It helps to look somewhat presentable as well. {I know, what a pain, right?} I’m not saying get decked out in your Sunday finest, just maybe run a brush through your hair and put on mascara so you’re not embarrassed to talk to anyone.

Step three… Get personal info and SCHEDULE. Again, this may be out of your comfort zone, but if it’s important to you, you’ll find a way to get it done. And again, odds are the cute mom next to you is just as desperate to make a friend. Don’t forget to get their number or add them as a friend on Facebook. Not sure how to do this? I’ve been pretty straight forward and said things like: “Have you been to the toddler story time at the library? We are going tomorrow, you should join us!” Or “If we have to spend another day stuck inside, we will go crazy, would you like to meet us at Chick-Fil-a? I can text you details if you’d like.”

Plan playdates or invite the entire family over for dinner or game night. Seriously, dont overthink it!

Step four… Plan a girls night sans children. Some things we’ve done are:

  • Bunco Night
  • Bachelor Night
  • Craft Night
  • Catch a Broadway show
  • Plan a Party {or just a simple hang out with treats.}
  • Freezer Meal Swap
  • Book Club
  • Group Date Nights

Ever heard of Bunco? It’s a fun dice game we would get together for once a month after kids went to bed. Super fun! Bachelor Night is self explanatory. It was especially fun when Chris Soles was the bach and since we live in Iowa, we went all out in hopes that Chris would come crash one of our parties. He never did… but it was still super fun! We’ve done numerous craft nights, get-togethers, baby showers, etc. We went to see Wicked together when it came to town and even started a book club. When the hubby’s are studying late into the night, that was our party time. Some times when the guys needed a break, we’d plan group date nights or holiday parties and not only were the wives friends, but our hubby’s became friends too.

Step five… Serve. Once you’ve made mommy friends, SERVE them without expecting anything in return.

  • Offer to babysit
  • Bring by a treat {or even a full dinner!}
  • Offer a listening ear/shoulder to cry on
  • Help clean

This goes without saying, when a family member or friend needs help… Of course you have to genuinely be willing to ease their burdens. Of course this will strengthen relationships! Make sure you allow them to serve you once in awhile too because if they are true friends, they will reciprocate the gestures when you need it as well.

Each year we have several families who are completing school and it’s always a little bitter sweet. We are, of course, heartbroken to say goodbye, but are also overjoyed to see them accomplishing something we know took LOTS of hard work. Being confident that our relationships will last even if we end up thousands of miles away is a big comfort as well. I can honestly say that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the mommy friends and their families whom I have come to love so deeply.

How to Make Mommy Friends How to Make Mommy Friends How to Make Mommy Friends

What did I miss? How have you learned to make mommy friends?

 

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